


baggage

by nikmood



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-04
Updated: 2014-04-04
Packaged: 2018-01-18 03:14:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1412944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nikmood/pseuds/nikmood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robin has a little more baggage than she can handle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	baggage

She's never been one for excess baggage, unless it's the emotional kind that she ignores until it explodes in her face.

Traveling for work has always forced her to pack lightly, but now that she and Barney are divorced her suitcases have become even lighter. There is no need for lingerie, no need for sexy backless dresses, no need for handcuffs or maple syrup. Her suitcase is packed with sensible business suits, basic heels, and comfy pajamas.

Her life in New York is as sparse as her suitcase. She has long since drifted away from the gang; no one's fault but her own. They were Barney's friends first so it's only natural that he should get custody of them. Sure, she calls occasionally and there is the sporadic Skype session, but there is no way that she would be able to pick her nephews and nieces out of a lineup. When she is actually in the city she tries to stay busy. No sense in sitting around a blank apartment crying and wondering what might have been. She found a new dry cleaner, a new grocery store, a new shooting range, a new pharmacy. She doesn't go to Mclaren's or the Hoser Hut anymore. She goes to a little dive bar near her apartment where there are no memories to burn her eyes the way the vodka burns her throat.

She has heard all about her ex husband's new Playbook and his triumphant return to nailing bimbos thanks to Ted, who seemed a little too gleeful to tell her about it in his latest email. She can't say she is surprised. She knows that she hurt Barney by traveling so much and not fighting harder for their marriage. The truth of the matter is she got scared. Everything was so fucking wonderful. She had a husband that she adored who thought that she was more awesome than laser tag. They bickered occasionally, but they were _happy_. And that petrified her because she had never seen happiness last. So when she was offered the chance to travel on WWW's dime, she jumped at it. Foolishly she thought that distance would keep their marriage fresh and Barney's love for her alive.

Could she have been any dumber? Why didn't she woman up and talk about her feelings and fears to her husband? Maybe they could have fixed things, or maybe it would have only sped up the inevitable.

Being afraid of being happy wasn't the biggest thing though. She knew her husband wanted children. All you had to do was watch him around them. He was supposed to be an awesome dad. And she couldn't make him one. Her stupid broken body would never pee on a plastic stick and hope for the plus sign to show up. There would be no maple leaf onsies or baby Armani suits in their future. And she loved Barney too much to deprive him of the chance of finding someone and having a family with them, so she picked at their marriage like a scab until it came apart.

It doesn't mean that there aren't more nights than she would care to admit when she's had a little too much to drink and she takes out her phone with her finger hovering over the 1 button, desperate to just hear his voice say hello. But she stops herself just in time because it's a quarter after one and it's not cool to interrupt your ex getting his freak on because you happen to be drunk and lonely to hear the voice of the one person in the world who ever accepted you for you.

She still loves Barney. She will always love Barney. He is it for her. Which is why their wedding scrapbook, with The Robin inside, is always in her carry on bag and she wears her engagement ring and wedding ring on a thin chain that she keeps tucked under her top. For once in her life Robin Stins- Scherbatsky is going to put someone else's happiness ahead of her own. Barney deserves that, at least.


End file.
